Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
