That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
