I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize