I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
