Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize