she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize