he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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