Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
