and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
