Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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