PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
