Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
