she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
