If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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