some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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