I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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