Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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