I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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