awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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