so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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