My first STD was from a foam party
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just pee around me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
