He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
