The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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