I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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