Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
