So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize