it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
