Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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