Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
worst night to have a conscience
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
