god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
