My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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