the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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