party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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