i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
