I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
