You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
