Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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