i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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