So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
