Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
