fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
