I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
