dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
