Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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