Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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