I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Someone came in the potted fern
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize