lets start a swedish sibling band together
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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