I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
