He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
