Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
