hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
