Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
