and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
