last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
