Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
