Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
