I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
