omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
