I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
