Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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