the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
