Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize