im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
