My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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